I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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