Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sober January is a disaster.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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