she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
