im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ugly people sure do ruin things
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
