miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
