He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
