There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
