We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
