I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
