I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She needs sedatives and a leash
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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