Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize