theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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