what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
