You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
