We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
