what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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