i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
