wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
