one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
