I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
