Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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