A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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