I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she told me i tasted like america
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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