Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
