all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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