Ambien. No doubt about it.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize