I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
