I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
