You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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