Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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