I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
