onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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