Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
as a side note pls kill me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
