Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
