my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
