So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
