Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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