You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
