What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize