there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize