operation harelip BJ is a go
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my being single is dangerous.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
