why do cheetos always look like penises
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
