Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
