I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
