I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
