Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
