Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
