I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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