I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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