Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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