What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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