your room smells of hookers.
And success
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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