i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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