it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
