Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
