11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
