...so i touched it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
