You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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