Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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