Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
