Please, let me fuck your mom
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize