I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
