She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
