just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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