if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
