Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Randomize
