I'm eating all of the evidence.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
