You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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