dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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