he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
